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Hi, Nancy,
Horses stopping. Riders falling.
We already know that a horse will reflect what's going on inside of you.
So what life event (even if it was years ago) is still holding you back from performing at your best?
How do you feel when a parent dies, your parents get divorced, or even YOU get divorced or have a spouse pass away? What about if your business partner or your trainer leaves?
These life events are the reasons for many of the problems that suddenly appear when riders are transitioning through life events.
But do we always have to experience these events in a negative way?
How an event affects us depends upon the meaning that we choose to give to it.
For example, I have a Grand Prix rider whose father just passed away. He was not only her number one supporter, he was also her business partner with their equestrian farm.
She said to me, "I feel like the rug has just been yanked out from underneath me!"
Whoa! No wonder her horse was stopping at the jumps and she was falling. Her foundation was gone. She didn't feel as secure. Or stable. Half of her was gone!
Look at the meaning she gave to his passing. What alternative meaning could we give this event?
What about a magic carpet ride? (WHAT?????)
Wait, how can it be that? Well, now she will have to stand on her own two feet! Now instead of her father being in the driving seat, SHE is. Wow!
Now SHE is going to have to pick up the reins and run the race herself!
So now, instead of feeling like a dependent child going along for the ride, she gets to step into the grown-up role and become the leader.
Do we ride better when we mount our horses as leaders?
When we move away from our parents, or partners, aren't we forced to stand up and become stronger?
Don't we have to step into courage and put one foot in front of the other and move forward and straight?
What is the meaning of a magic carpet ride?
Soaring above it all.
Feeling free.
Covering more ground faster
Having a better perspective on life; being able to see the other side.
Imagine yourself as an empowered eagle!
And these are all great meanings and feelings for an equestrian that is a jumper, right?
Her father is teaching her how to soar through life without him! Yeah!
Magic carpet ride versus the poor, unsupported, and disempowered victim of having her foundation ripped out from underneath her and feeling like she was "falling" off a cliff.
Hmm, maybe that is why her show ring performances turned into falling off a horse ... because horses will mirror back to us what is going on inside of ourselves.
This technique is called a reframe.
Here's another example of a reframe ...
Have you ever known someone who has had to deal with one adversity after another? They are stressed out with "life" and they keep saying how they are "hanging by a thin thread." You've heard this, right?
Well, why not change it to "having fun on a bungee jump?"
Or "Enjoying the zip line?"
Or "flying through the jungle like Tarzan grabbing one thick, strong rope, and then letting go and grabbing the next. And then the next one. Having a blast swinging through the jungle?"
You can use this when people are throwing out "lines" of unkind words to you. Maybe dealing with bullies ... just imagine swinging on that rope and yelling, "Next!'
Use those "lines" that they are giving you and turn them into zip lines, bungee cords or Tarzan ropes that you just end up turning into fun!
Why let other people upset you when you can have fun with them, and feel empowered, instead?
It's your choice and your decision to transition these life events into something that gives you a happier, more empowering feeling inside. We call this leaning into the resistance. Embracing the adversity.
If you're a rider, do you even have a choice with regards to allowing yourself to feel negative? No! Horses will prevent you from holding on to that stuff for very long.
Horses don't like uncertain, unstable, unsure, and disempowered victims.
Re-frame the rugs in life that were pulled out from under you. Jump over obstacles. Soar above it!
Soar Video
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