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Dear Nancy,
"What did you do to me?"
This was the question my new client just asked me after a short time coaching with me.
"I feel like I had a lobotomy! Instead of being fearful, I can't wait to go ride and jump!"
This from a rider whose horse freaked out from a gun shot sound (she lives in the country) as she was standing on the mounting block with one foot in the stirrup.
Her horse bolted and took off while she still had her one foot still in the stirrup!
(I don't need to tell you how bad that went down!) It was a LONG and painful physical rehab journey!
These episodes can quickly spiral out of control as we deal with the side affects of the anti-inflammation drugs, the depression from the pain, the feelings of being disempowered and sidelined from our "normal" life, and as we try to somehow still contribute with raising children, managing our farm, and running a household.
But the biggest challenge some of us worry about about with injuries like these?
Our newfound, debilitating fears about riding and jumping.
AND she is still in pain today, but guess what she said?
"I was in such a great frame of mind today, I didn't even feel any pain for 4 hours! It wasn't until after I was done riding at the end of the day that I noticed it again."
(So wait ... our mental states can control our pain? Hmmm, something to think about!)
We actually hadn't had that many sessions, but we started with learning one of the most powerful tools; language
Changing your words is so simple AND it will make you feel like you just won the lottery!
Here's how it works.
Every word has a meaning (each person gives a word their own meaning), and it is the meanings that will create the feelings and emotions inside of you.
Want to feel great? Change your meanings or just change the word!
All you have to do is elevate the words you are using!
Here is an example of elevating your language.
Let's assume you were given an assignment by me and told to write down your negative thoughts in your head and to then elevate the negative words.
Let's say you later contacted me and said you are "stuck" with your riding;
This is a perfect example of how we sabotage ourselves with words that have powerfully negative meanings. This creates within us a negative emotional impact.
And it is the meanings that we give to words that keeps us stuck or that will trip us up.
Here are some examples of the "step ladder up" elevation technique.
1st elevation: "I am "struggling" with my riding." (Note that struggling is a meaning and feeling that is less stuck than the word stuck.)
2nd elevation: "I am "working on" finding a solution in my riding." (Meaning of "working on" has more movement forward in a positive direction. Plus we added a positive word like solution, so now we are not so focused on and "drowning" in the problem.)
3rd elevation: "I am "challenged" with my riding." (For some people, like my husband who is a former Olympian gymnast, this word is a positive cause they LIKE to have a challenge. It's fun and it moves them to want to rise to the occasion.
For others, "challenge" still feels like something is too hard. (You have to ask yourself what meaning you give to the word challenge or any other word you choose to use.)
Sidebar: this is a great example of why coaching is better than reading a book or watching courses online. We can figure out why certain techniques work for you while others may actually trigger you!
4th elevation: "I am enjoying looking for the solution to my riding and getting my joy back." (This would be great for someone who is a writer, a teacher or someone that enjoys detective work or puzzles ... like me. Note also that we added words that have a positive emotional impact ... like enjoy and joy.)
5th elevation: "I am excited about and determined to totally rock my riding and go into the show ring feeling empowered!" (This sentence is a total embrace and getting excited about what was once a negative and something that was dreaded.)
Eventually, as we practice these techniques, we skip all the "lower steps" and change our words by just going right for the highest and powerful elevation!
The best words are the ones that help you to embrace the problem. Whatever issues we have, the answer is always to embrace it. What word would make you feel excited or joyful?
The key is this: which words best resonates for YOU? We will work on discovering that. To do that, we have to solve the puzzles of what drives you.
Now, those positive feelings coming from those new words may not be the “truth” for you right now, but we make them become the truth eventually by lying to ourselves NOW and generating and adopting the feelings and results we want to eventually have.
Stop seeing things as they are and start seeing things how you would like them to be!
It doesn’t matter how you feel at this moment. All that matters are the feelings that you decide to generate anyway. Choose the ones that will prevent you from staying stuck and help you to move forward.
The ones that help you to embrace the challenge and to become excited about turning it all around and achieving your goals!
Ready for a lobotomy? (A dramatic, lifechanging results in your riding and your life?) Check it out!
Click below to schedule a free coaching session with me. Want more tools and stories of my coaching? Purchase my book on my website. Buy Nancy's New Book!
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Have a fabulous week!
Nancy Dye
Breakthrough Mental Skills Coach
Emotional Strength & Resiliency Trainer
Strategic Interventionist
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