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Hi Nancy,
HALT!
CAHNGE LEADS! (Change your focus)
This is one of the deep rabbit holes that happens with SOME therapy/therapists; allowing people to continue spinning around in their fears, problems, negative narratives and “stories.”
Allowing them to keep revisiting their worries, anxieties, past failures ... or past hurts or traumas under the guise of “venting” and “getting it all out.”
Yes, it is helpful to discover and identify sources for the problems.
To have that insight.
And to feel the feelings.
Yes, we all need to be "seen and heard." To feel someone's empathy and to receive comfort and love.
BUT endlessly "working through it" is NOT the answer when nothing changes and we just remain stuck in that quicksand.
(Are you stuck on the gear called "working through it?")
It is NOT helpful to continue spending precious time and money spinning around in and constantly focusing on the problem.
OVER AND OVER.
This spinning is actually very addictive IN addition to destructively keeping us stuck.
Why?
1) It gives us certainty and comfort. We feel at home “going there.” (Our comfy chair!)
2) We feel powerful doing this pattern because we excel at it! (Of course, look at all that practice!)
3) It is something we can control! (We decide and direct exactly how this process, or movie, goes.) This is why we "spin out" whenever we feel uncertainty; our way of trying to feel calm and centered.
4) It is also is a way for us to go deep and connect with ourselves. (Albeit, in an unhealthy way.) This is why people get addicted to depression.
5) It is a way for us to experience love and connection with another human being. (But after a while, it is connecting in a toxic way.)
STOP THE DESTRUCTIVE MADNESS!
Coaching is about retraining the brain to STOP going down that old, “problem” bridle path which just makes those ruts on that particular neuro pathway deeper and more ingrained.
Instead, we create, then shift onto and "stay the course" on a new neuropathway in the brain; a bridle path of SOLUTIONS getting our needs met for empowerment, certainty, and control in a more positive way that will lead to a better destination!
Success and joy in our lives!
Through coaching, we learn how to MASTER OURSELVES! ( You can't imagine what an empowering "high" that is! Talk about being in control!)
We rewire and condition our brains to consistently practice laying down a new “story” and new, healthier narratives and behaviors every day.
The best news?
This too will eventually become addictive.
This too will eventually become our automatic/default "go to." Our new way to become centered and strong.
Wow! How would you rock your riding and your life if you showed up like that every day?
And if nothing unseated you ... or if you were more quickly able to rebound and get back on and rock it again?
If you fulfilled your need to significance, certainty, growth, love and connection in a POSSITIVE, MOVING FORWARD way instead of a self destructive way?
So the choice is ...
Do we want to become addicted to feeling empowered and in control of feeling good and creating great results in our riding and our lives?
Or do we want to continue TO CHOOSE to stay stuck with our automatic/default "go to" spin of feeling empowered and in control of feeling fearful and negative?
Those two neuropathways, by the way, while fulfilling the same needs inside of us for power and certainty ..
Have COMPLETELY opposite consequences and destinations for our lives.
We make this choice every moment of every day.
Choose wisely and turn it all around. Schedule a free consultation, click here.
Schedule a Chat
This Memorial Day, please pray for the families of our military men and women who have given their lives for you to have the freedom ...
To choose to live your lives happy and free.
Nancy Dye
Breakthrough Mental Skills Coach
Emotional Strength and Resiliency Trainer
Strategic Interventionist
1-561-855-0402
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