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Hi Nancy,
The greatest feeling in the world is ...
Wait for it ...
Slaying the "I don't want to do it" dragon!
But how do you slay THAT dragon when you ALSO don't want to even slay THAT dragon?
Because you've told yourself a story that "it's no big deal" that you don't do what you don't want to do.
(The other part of THAT story being a lie you've told yourself that you can reach your destination without those things.)
So you've decided what you will and won't do ... you've drawn the line in the sand ...
And the door is slammed shut with those non-negotiable, rigid rules.
The very thought of doing something we don't want to do is immediately followed with "Nope, nope, nope!"
But this is not strength and self-control, although rebellion also feels powerful ...
This mindset and behavior is your Chef de Sabeteur holding the reins! You are actually OUT of control!
And this is why we trip ourselves up and stay stuck repeating bad habits.
(Remember, it is our "rule.")
And yet we are denying the fact that this bad habit is like a cancer eating away at our progress forward ...
Think deep, muddy pot holes on the bridle path, or neuropathway, in your brain.
And growing worse every time you repeat those habits and continue to further program that counter productive behavior into your brain ...
Remember, we are either practicing weakness or we are practicing strength!
Riders will forego learning and growing and becoming rockstars because ...
THEY DON'T WANT TO SOME THINGS.
We are not talking difficult or risky things, by the way ...
We are talking simple and not very timing consuming tools.
"No, I don't like to read books online; I only read paperbacks." (OK, so you have decided the effort is not worth that knowledge. Got it)
"No, I don't like to watch videos." (Even though they are short. But spending time hooked on streaming movies on Netflix or addicted to watching sports on TV is OK.)
"No, I don't like to keep competition journals ( or food tracking journals for people with weight/health issues). In other words, not REALLY committed to changing.
"No, I don't like to have to coach EVERY week." (The point of this is rewiring the brain for new thoughts and behaviors; Consistency! And pace! And momentum ... as riders, we ALL know about doing that with our horses!)
"No, I don't want to get off my anxiety or other drugs." (OK, I am not a doctor, so that is your call. However, ALL my riders have been able to stop once they learned mental skills! Anixiety meds can mess up your timing.)
"No, I don't want to listen to audio tapes while dressing, driving, walking/exercersing ... which means NET; No Extra Time!
Let's call it what it is ...
"I don't want to be an Rockstar in my riding or other areas of my life!"
Now, they don't actually think or believe that they don't want to be a Rockstar ...
(Well, most actually do not believe they can be a Rockstar in the beginning, but we turn that around!)
What they DO believe is that they magically become one without doing some things they don't want to do.
While being driven to repeat bad habits.
And "riding blind" down their bridle path because they don't have the proven process and tools that ...
They have demonized!
So, they are in denial as to how well and what levels they will be able to perform at.
Upside down beliefs!
Because whatever level can be achieved while ALSO sabotaging themselves from being the BEST that they can be ...
Two steps forward and one step back ...
The truth is ....
It is a mindset of minimun and half-assed effort and action.
Which creates the correlating results.
And frustration and a mindset of defeat.
And THAT is a bad habit.
Here is another truth that people with this bad habit don't realize ...
Which is the GOOD news! (The leverage, in fact!)
NOTHING feels better than being able to condition your brain to IMMEDIATELY do those things that you don't want to do!
Wait, what?
Yup, it is such an empowering feeling, such a high, to know that you have such CONTROL over yourself that you can actually overcome any bad habit ...
And feel like a million bucks doing what you actually fear or simply don't want to do.
And with that growth, with that new strength to keep yourself from running away out the back door of your excuses ...
Everything changes and the Equestrian Rockstar is galloping down the empowering bridle path of success!
Like my client, Gretchin Jelenik, wrote, "The greatest thing you taught me was how to not give myself an "out" by running out through my back doors!"
And it shifted everything! Because the only other alternative was moving forward!
Want to have the edge over your competitors?
The successful people in life are the ones that show up and do what everyone else (your competitors) DON'T want to do!
This gives them certainty and also, if fulfills their need for significance!
They have also trained their brains to not immediatley demonize things ...
THAT WILL HELP THEM!
The funny thing about all this is ...
Many times the reason behind the reason why someone doesn't want, and won't do, something they don't want to do do is ...
All about control issues!
They feel empowered and in control when when they don't do what is suggested.
So self-sbotage is, in effect, winning to them!
This is a mixed neuro-association because ...
If they REALLY want to control their results and outcomes for peak performance ...
The answer is ALWAYS to be able to learn what works for you ... what YOUR key is ...
To showing up and doing what you don't want to do in riding and in your life.
And LOVE doing that instead because it actually makes you feel MORE in control and empowered ...
Because you know that you are controlling moving in the right direction and ...
You LOVE the feeling of the results of controlling your destiny in such a positive way ...
Instead of the prior, stubborn, self-saboting bad habits ... that happens when we are in the "bare minimum/half -assed" gear.
When we have subconscious rules that say it is OK to simple decide to not do anything we don't want to do.
Or a flat out rebellion mode!
It's not that "I can't" or "don't have time."
It's "I don't want to. And therefore I won't."
This is why I paid a lot of money to go to a Tony Robbins event that included walking on fire.
Because I didn't want to walk on fire.
And my identity transformation rule decades ago was ....
"And therefore I must!" Because that is just who I am now. That's my identity. That's my brand.
Just like Navy Seals are trained to develop a mindset that allows them to "embrace the suck" under the worst situations.
Yes, they are TRAINED by being desensitized to tough, painful situations ...
To condition their mindsets to be able to deal with the REALLY toturous and harsh conditions and tasks.
So, if I wanted to become tough ... to stop running away from bad habits ...
To achieve CONSISTENT peak performance in my life, I had to consciously make that my new rule.
"I am the master of conditioning my brain to do whatever I DON'T want to do that would add to my growth and peak performance."
Peak performers have learned that the magic sauce is ALWAYS being able to condition yourself to do what you don't FEEL like doing.
The benefit? Feeling like a million bucks because we feel so empowered when we know we can master ourselves to achieve the results that we want ...
In riding and in life.
How can you learn to FEEL like you want to do it anyway?
That's where I come in! Let's figure this out ... what is driving those bad habits and what works for you to TAKE CONTROL and enjoy the "high" of overcoming bad habits.
If your negative feelings about doing something that would help you to grow or become more healthy or a better rider are controlling you ...
Then you are not really empowered and in control. You are being driven by NOT being able to CORRECTLY program your brain, generate your mindset, and direct your actions as well as you need to.
When your brain subconsciously knows it is not in control and being driven ... you don't feel as empowered as you could going into the ring.
It's a choice ... and a decision.
Make it an exciting week of better results!
Nancy Dye
Breaththrough Equestrian Mindset Coach
Emotional Strength and Resilience Training
Strategic Interventionist
1-561-866-0402
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